Quite possibly the best/worst fortune cookie fortune ever.
*whistles x files theme song as a mating call*
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are
thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE
convert your office into a horrible disaster
Who needs children when you can have cats?
he looked old for 14
“It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.”
― Pablo Picasso
"They call it DIVERGENT.”
Q: Do you insist on doing your own stunts?
David Duchovny: I don’t insist on it because other people know better than I do about those kind of things. But I do like to be physical, I do like to get out and run around. So I say if you’re going to shoot it and I’m going to be doing it, at least see that it’s me. If it’s the real actor, it’s usually more exciting than shooting a double.
Rolling Stone, 1995
He gets into his shows